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Care, don't own!

By Bamboo In The Wind

You tell yourself you don't care which direction someone chooses, only that they make the effort to find one.

That's a fair enough stand.

It cracks the moment you spot ability in someone and watch them not use it. You start seeing their inaction as a loss you're responsible for preventing, not as their choice to make.

That's the trap.

Unused potential is not wasted talent. A person can carry real potential and still choose, for now, not to develop it. You can open a door, explain why it matters, even walk through it with them once.

You cannot walk through it on their behalf. 

Keep explaining, persuading, warning, encouraging, demonstrating, and the other person never gets the one thing that actually changes them: discovering it themselves.

Your stepping back isn't abandonment then, it's the mentoring.

They don't owe you a promise that they're trying!

A question, a stumble, a return after failing, your suggestion rejected for their own, any small movement is enough. The direction can look nothing like what you imagined. 

What matters is agency, and once it shows up, you can help without owning it.

Ask yourself less often how do I get them to grow, and more often, have I given them enough clarity, opportunity and freedom to choose. If yes, your part is done.

Care about their potential! Just stop being responsible for it!!

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