You tell yourself you don't care which direction someone chooses, only that they make the effort to find one. That's a fair enough stand. It cracks the moment you spot ability in someone and watch them not use it. You start seeing their inaction as a loss you're responsible for preventing, not as their choice to make. That's the trap. Unused potential is not wasted talent. A person can carry real potential and still choose, for now, not to develop it. You can open a door, explain why it matters, even walk through it with them once. You cannot walk through it on their behalf. Keep explaining, persuading, warning, encouraging, demonstrating, and the other person never gets the one thing that actually changes them: discovering it themselves. Your stepping back isn't abandonment then, it's the mentoring. They don't owe you a promise that they're trying! A question, a stumble, a return after failing, your suggestion rejected for their own, any small movement...
It is hard to not think about how to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. The gap often appears enormous. Unsurprisingly, you are attracted to easy tricks and treats to get past it! Only to find that the shortcuts that should have helped seemingly don't work and then you are stumped... The main issue is focusing on the result without control over it. While expecting results is always a dreamy desire, success depends on the route you take to get results. The course involves a lot of original work with little recognition and reward. It consists of working in quiet, dark, dusty corners and to get your hands in the mud. Some days feel like endless early mornings and late nights, all starting and ending with a streak of mistakes and false hopes that ensue. Learning by doing is a great way to provide real hope. The route appears marred with costly quest of unfathomable. Learning is time-consuming; costs time and money, and failures are totally humbling, r...