Bamboo In The Wind

It is scary to ask anyone for feedback. And why not? After all, it might expose our inadequacies, poor thinking, and everyday work. If asking for feedback shows us our fears, why do so? It turns out that asking for feedback is being open to inputs and ideas contrary to our thoughts! The concept that someone without knowledge of us, our thoughts, and our work can review our work is terrifying at best.  Volunteering to get feedback is a great way to assert that you are willing to change minds and improve. Feedback comes at the cost of sharing. Sharing comes at the expense of leakage of trust. Trust develops with acceptance of input as is. Feedback is heard through sincere, patient listening. And that is the difficulty in seeking feedback in the first place.

We point out inactions. We ponder what needs to be done and resort to creating goals, targets, or mechanisms that push for action. And that is great.  Because push results in the impetus to move forward and think. It certainly generates thinking about how to get ourselves out of inaction. And that is a must before progressively bringing the work toward the intended results. But overemphasis on mere action is no good! That is no guarantee that we will progress.  What in the world is blocking constructive thinking that leads to action? We need to play a much bigger emphasis on that. Get all those fears, displeasures, and knocks weighing our minds out of the way. It's easier said than done. Who would support, who would listen, who really cares? Fair enough. But that is precisely the test of our connections.  Keep traversing connections until we can express ourselves freely with someone willing to listen with intent and without fear of safety. It is a skill to build and prese...

Two types of decision-makers end up making decisions of consequence. These types define how we feel about what we decide and do. Some do a quick research and make gut feel-based, good-enough decisions and live with the result of making those. Such decision-makers usually have no surprise about what outcomes they get.  And so they are generally happy about their choices. They live with what they have, get, and consistently work to improve their odds by continually making the next decision.  Often this makes them average achievers, but they benefit from gaining confidence with the experience they garner. These are Satisficers. Then, there are those who infinitely research, review, rate, debate, and discuss their choices. They tend to procrastinate over the costs and benefits of those decisions and weigh the effect of options.  Supposedly these decision-makers make well-informed decisions but quickly resort to second-guessing themselves on whether they could have made even b...

Whether it is exercise, relationships, or a business battleground, we must know to handle pain.  Pain induces the emotion of unending hopelessness, which teaches us how to decipher stumbling blocks and figure our way out of them! Endurance is a test of time. Lasting longer than the problem. One that lasts longer has been baked in the difficulty of varying circumstances.  If it has lasted long enough, it will likely survive even longer and become robust and resilient.  Endurance helps us become or create something of lasting value that we come to depend on. Endurance is why we learn to survive and further - thrive!

Trust compounds when honesty is present. But there is something more required. Trust grows when there is integrity on display.  It is easy to be truthful about what you say today. It's more work to keep your commitment to truth tomorrow and the day after. Consistently. Clearly, honesty is about being boldly truthful, as you express. However, integrity is respecting spoken words every day and making sure they remain truthful day after day, every day! Trust is an outcome of honesty and integrity. Trust is mainly up to us!

It is easy to brush aside any feedback you get. In fact, what do others know of you and your circumstances for them to pass judgment about you or your actions? That is a fair view. You know yourself the best and must hold your own self in the face of feedback. But brushing aside what others say about you? Perhaps you must be careful about ignoring input and being deaf to developmental information. Most people react the way you might think of responding with a sense of ignorance. However, the loss is only yours. First, you must note no one is interested in you. They are interested in their own experience with you. Your reflections, sharing, accommodation, care - your behavior in their presence, all of it.  They are also affected by your actions - which either encourage or discourage their own actions. The type of impetus your presence provides them is vital to them. And they will provide feedback, whether you expect it or not. You must be open to listening to the feedback, think har...

To see the moment of truth, we must be open to missing the goalpost rather than just expecting to make it.  Running the race fully to see us falling short in our preparation.  Or we must be open to being watchful along our journey and making continuous adjustments that improve our position - relentlessly. Being open makes us see. And, then, we have a chance to make it.  The flip side is to see what we expect or what is desirable. Then, we are unlikely to make it! Either way moment of truth is show-up. It is outside our control!

Wait is excruciating! Never-ending. Nail biting. Worrisome. Wait is hardly of any use. We might wait to start on something, wait to stop something, or wait to continue something. It is rarely apparent to us why we must wait. Turns out we are waiting for reassurance. Reassurance about something from someone. When that reassurance does not show up, all hail breaks lose! We become hopeless. We eventually get stumped. We have a vast pileup to climb over to get to the other side and become hopeful again! However, what we turned waiting into exploratory actions? Actions might change our perspective, our understanding, and our connections. And eventually, we update our beliefs. That might be a handy thing to do. Because that will pave the way for a lot of possibilities to pursue. Importantly, it positions us with options that just go created because the wait was turned into a splendidly productive spell!

If you face a situation where you feel you are not progressing, then stop and think. If you are in a position where no effort results in solid relationships, stop and think! You must check if you employ a trust-first approach to engaging with yourself and your surroundings! The trust-first approach can attract the best. Best thinking, best effort, best outcome, best people. The trust-first approach defies the logic of being judgemental. It avoids the side effects of self-expectations.  The trust-first approach underlines that people generally reciprocate with greater trust. So trust we must. At the start!

We are logic bullies! We only realize it sometimes.  We fall prey to our biases and form a firm understanding of how the world works. That understanding is based on how we perceive the situation, the observations we make, the evidence we collect, and the inferences we draw from it.  Collectively, such understanding can be inherently flawed. But we don't know it. We use our knowledge everywhere we have an opportunity to interact. That becomes our logic to explain things to ourselves and those around us. When we develop our understanding into a firm one, it can turn into a fixed belief. When we use our thoughts daily, we turn that into the logic that explains what is happening around us. It becomes our opinion. The trouble is we are often blindsided that our logic and underlying understanding could be flawed.  If we persist with our opinion, we will likely be impressing our thoughts on others without their consent. That is logic bully in action crippling the environment! Th...