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Who really rules our mind?

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 A human being is one of the most sophisticated and complex species to ever exist. 


We have been blessed with the ability to think, analyze, and express our emotions. All this coupled with the fact that we can walk on two legs, surely every human, irrespective of their background, is smarter than all other species to walk this earth.


In theory, yes. 


In reality however, most humans are dissatisfied and unhappy because of them feeling inferior to another human being.


The question that arises is - why so?


To find the answer, let me walk you through a commonly used grading system in Indian higher education institutions. 


Absolute grading and Relative grading.


The biggest distinction among both is that the former awards merit for the individual’s effort and skill alone whereas the latter awards merit for the individual’s effort and skill in relation to that of their peers.


We see the same concept being in subconscious use in the formation of an individual’s identity as well.


The one who molds themselves on the basis of their capabilities and beliefs classify as absolute identity holders. While the ones who show dissatisfaction and unhappiness over their abilities and beliefs are those who tend to follow the relational identity development path. 


A successful metric of everything for these people is to do what worked for others and what suits others.


As an example, we rarely see an entrepreneur take a plunge because of someone else, they often believe in originality of thoughts and ideas, a pressing hallmark of having an absolute identity. 


Those tread on a well traveled path might have less pitfalls to worry about but the lack of original thought, belief eats away at them leading to the dissatisfaction and unhappiness talked about earlier. 


As someone who went through a relational identity crisis, I have come to realize that walking your own path is much easier and often the path of less resistance because you are the decision maker and the confidence that comes with owning your choices - in my opinion - is far greater than achieving success on a journey that we undertook not because we wanted to but because of an implicit expectation that  since it worked for someone else , it will work for you. 


Charting your own path is the way to go!   

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