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What they want!

By Bamboo In The Wind
We have a very strange way of solving problems. We try to guess what others might want, turn that into a real need, and provide them with what we think they need. 

An example of this is a child returning from school trying to make a desperate attempt to connect with her parent. They have many stories from the day at school and need someone to listen. We think they are trying to catch attention. We happily assume what they want and shut them down under the garbs of being busy.

A co-worker wants a quick chat with a manager, and the manager brings his own context of co-workers' past interactions and assumes that they know what the co-worker needs and offers no time or tosses them on an inconveniently scheduled meeting. 

When we are in a store, the store in charge has a customer who needs a sledgehammer but misses the point about what the customer wants to do with a sledgehammer. Why is he in the store in the first place?

These examples tell us how we connect with people and misunderstand what they are looking for.


Many times what others want and what we think they want are too far apart. 

There are routine instances of us building context from superficial interactions and interpretations with little effort and insufficient data. We must build context after sustained conversations and debates. Refining what we heard about the need and verifying the realness of need through adequate checks are good ways to arrive at the specificity of what someone's requirements are. 

When we care enough, we are sure to know the story behind the specific needs. We understand what we need to solve that will enable progress for those who receive the benefits of the solution. Can we relate to that journey? Are there ways to participate in their main journey? Would customers be better off connecting with someone we know? Can we volunteer some help beyond what they came to us for? 

There are various ways for one to understand what they want, and yet they may not say! We have to cultivate the art of getting them to say what they are saying. The real need is discovered in what they may not be saying.

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