Bamboo In The Wind

Do we ever pause to look at ourselves as we grow in stature, success and influence? Do we realise how much we change along the way? Perhaps success makes us a little too sure of ourselves. Perhaps being admired makes it difficult to let go. And perhaps, without quite realising it, we begin to attach more importance to our image and legacy than to the intent with which we started. It is worth asking. Are we still the same person we set out to be? Personal leadership, begins with this question!

Sometimes you come across situation that tells one-sided story. You don't feel obligated to verify. You build more around the story. On your own. Same lens amounting to more evidence and yet amplifying one-sided view that doesn't tell the whole truth. A lot is left to be grasped. It triggers feeble understanding. An outcome like this is unwarranted,  undesirable and unfair to everyone. It is self-serving. And, it is damaging!

Nobody likes to let people down. We learn this when we are small. So we try to keep everyone happy. We think that makes us good. Glennon Doyle once said your job is to let down as many people as you need to, so you don't let yourself down. It doesn't mean you do whatever you want. It means some choices will upset people, and that's okay. Every big choice upsets someone. A partner wanted more. Your family wanted you to play it safe. A customer wanted it their way. Many of us stop there. Not because we were wrong. Because saying no felt hard. But know which "you" matters. Not the one who wants to feel good today. The one who knows what's right. People get over your no. You carry your wrong Yes!

Nobody sees most of your life. The promise you kept when no one checked. The anger you held back. The help you gave at home without being asked. So people guess. They look at the small things they can see and decide who you are. You're on time. You return what you borrowed. You reply when you said you would. Small things. But they say, "This person can be trusted." It works the other way too. A small lie about being late. A sharp word to the shopkeeper. A friend left waiting for days. None of it is big. Still, people wonder. If this is how they are in small things, how are they when it matters? We save our best for some big day. But big days come without warning. There's no time to change then. We just do what we always do. How you do small things is how you do everything!

We all need work. Food, a home, a place in the world. That part is true for everyone. But this job? This relationship? This city you live in? None of it was required. It feels like it was. It wasn't. You picked this. Maybe not every part. But you picked to be here. Short term, a lot feels out of your hands. The boss, the timing, the people around you. But long term, it was all a choice. Even staying is a choice. See it that way, and it feels lighter. You're not stuck. You're choosing!

We think forward is the only good way to go. So going back feels bad. It feels like losing. But that's not always true. Kurt Vonnegut once said a step back after a wrong turn is really a step in the right direction. Think about it. You took a wrong turn. You're walking the wrong way. If you keep walking, you just get more lost. So you stop. You turn around. You walk back a little. That looks like backward. It isn't. It's the smart move. It's the move that gets you back on the right road. We don't like to admit we went the wrong way. So we keep going, just to avoid turning around. That makes it worse, not better. Going back isn't retreating. It's how you find the right path forward again!

Some things need luck. Some need talent. Most things don't need either. Show up with action when it feels unwanted. Reply to the message nobody will thank you for. Say the honest thing when the easy lie was sitting right there. Encourage when no one ask you to. Anyone can do this. No skill required. No connections required. Just doing it, on the day you didn't need to. That's the whole advantage. It's just inconvenient. So most people walk past it looking for something rarer. The thing that actually separates people isn't what they have. It's what they were willing to do, on the ordinary day nobody was going to notice it.

You spend half your life building someone. A parent everyone leans on. The one at work who always has the answer. A person who's always fine. Then one day it stops feeling like enough. Nothing's wrong on the outside. Job's fine, home's fine. It still feels empty. The part of you that built all that is scared right now. It's been holding things together at home and at your desk for years, and it just found out it isn't the only one who has to. So it asks scared questions. Who am I if I'm not needed? Am I still worth something if I stop giving? Will people still stay if I stop being the one who delivers? That part doesn't need to go. It got you here. It just needs a smaller chair. Let something quieter take the front seat. The part that asks what's true, not what keeps everyone impressed. Nothing here is dying. Just the version of you that you don't need anymore.

"I don't know" stops the talk right there. Nothing good comes next. It sounds honest. It isn't. It really means, "just tell/ask me more." It asks someone else to do the work. Say this instead: "I'm not sure, but maybe—" That's not weak. That's infact brave. It keeps you in the talk. Proactively. We grew up scared to guess wrong. So we stopped guessing out loud when we don't know. Or We want to be just lazy to engage. So say what you can. Engage when you don't know. See where it goes. No one needs you right. They need you trying. Engaging!

Whatever pattern is repeating in your life has one common variable: you. The people change, the places change. The pattern stays exactly the same. You call it bad luck once, coincidence twice. By the third time, it stops being either. It's easier to hold the other person responsible than to hold yourself accountable.  But the situation room only ever responds to what you carry into it. This isn't about blame. Blame keeps you looking outward. There, you'll seldom find the answer you seek. It's about ownership. And ownership is quieter, harder to attain. Change the one constant, and the pattern runs out of reasons to repeat itself.  Because it was never the room. It was always you!

The programming language Rust was created in 2007 with the intention of resolving a shortcoming that the C language had been grappling with for many years, without the hiccup of runtime pauses, as seen in languages that use a garbage collector (Java, Go).  The actual technical details of what these terms mean are not important. What stands out is a concept introduced and enforced in Rust through a compiler mechanism called the borrow checker. Rust uses an ownership model, and the borrow checker verifies that ownership and borrowing rules are followed. If ownership becomes ambiguous or unsafe, it refuses to compile, come what may. This forces the user to be clear about ownership and be accountable for that declaration. The C programming language, in contrast, trusts its writer. It assumes the programmer will manage ownership as per their discretion, deferring the need for immediate declaration. This can be dangerous, as ambiguous ownership could mean nobody ends up taking responsibi...

You expect life to move in a straight line. A little clearer, a little better, every single day. The day it doesn't, you assume something is wrong. With you, or with how you're living it. Most things that matter don't move in a straight line. A friendship. A change in yourself. Making peace with something you can't undo. They stay quiet for a long stretch, looking like nothing at all. You want a sign. Some proof that the waiting is going somewhere. When it doesn't come, you start doubting the whole thing. Maybe it's the wrong person. Maybe it's time to move on. Maybe you were never going to feel settled anyway. That's not truth. That's just impatience, asking questions it already thinks it knows the answers to. Judge something too early, and you shut it before it had the chance to become anything. We think feeling right should announce itself the moment we've earned it. It rarely does. Not on our schedule. So the question isn't "is this ...

You plan because you must, not because the plan will hold. It rarely does. The path you draw quietly gives way to a different one. The opportunity you counted on doesn't show up. The timeline moves on its own schedule and forgets to ask you. None of this is failure. It is simply what living looks like once you step outside the page. The real work was never controlling what comes next. It is staying clear enough to meet it. We can't undo what's behind us, and we can't see what's ahead. But we can choose how we stand in the present — think clearly, show up for the people around us, turn the not-knowing into movement instead of letting it freeze us. Going with the flow is not the opposite of ambition. It is what ambition looks like once it stops needing to be right about the route. Hold the vision. Loosen the grip on the map. Stay where you are. Let go of what was never yours to hold in the first place. Some of the best chapters don't continue the plan. They begin ...

You tell yourself you don't care which direction someone chooses, only that they make the effort to find one. That's a fair enough stand. It cracks the moment you spot ability in someone and watch them not use it. You start seeing their inaction as a loss you're responsible for preventing, not as their choice to make. That's the trap. Unused potential is not wasted talent. A person can carry real potential and still choose, for now, not to develop it. You can open a door, explain why it matters, even walk through it with them once. You cannot walk through it on their behalf.  Keep explaining, persuading, warning, encouraging, demonstrating, and the other person never gets the one thing that actually changes them: discovering it themselves. Your stepping back isn't abandonment then, it's the mentoring. They don't owe you a promise that they're trying! A question, a stumble, a return after failing, your suggestion rejected for their own, any small movement...

It is hard to not think about how to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. The gap often appears enormous.  Unsurprisingly, you are attracted to easy tricks and treats to get past it! Only to find that the shortcuts that should have helped seemingly don't work and then you are stumped... The main issue is focusing on the result without control over it.  While expecting results is always a dreamy desire, success depends on the route you take to get results. The course involves a lot of original work with little recognition and reward. It consists of working in quiet, dark, dusty corners and to get your hands in the mud. Some days feel like endless early mornings and late nights, all starting and ending with a streak of mistakes and false hopes that ensue. Learning by doing is a great way to provide real hope. The route appears marred with costly quest of unfathomable. Learning is time-consuming; costs time and money, and failures are totally humbling, r...

It is easy to bend backwards and accomodate others. When you do so, it is obvious to generate affection that leads to you being likeable. You tend to be always available, seek others' attention more that what your needs are for yourself, or do things to transactionally connect with others. As long as you continue doing what others prefer, you are sure to be liked! And who does not like to liked like that! People pleasing acts have huge downsides. It is different when you set boundaries, take a principled stand about when do you indulge with collaborative activity involving others and when you focus on your priorities. Principles drive energies, brings rigor and sets responsibilities. It is governed with consistency and you come across that uniform, thought and consistent in any and every situation as against preferential. Obviously, principled person is hard to pierce into. When you do, you will discover rythem of clear communication, prioritisation, importance of building long-ter...

Owning is an act of proactive work.  You own through willingness and willingness emerges as a result of feeling the sense of belonging. Initiative helps define baby steps that gives you access to responsibility. Responsibility allows you to take actions that give you the power to influence but never control the outcomes. However, this act of taking baby steps eventually lets us be owners - of our own decisions. Owning vital responsibility usually results in desired results and happiness for yourselves or owning responsibility can sometimes mean taking an arduous endless path to make those around you happy. The best you can do is to own your decisions and accept the outcomes you get.

Letting go can be daunting. It gives a feeling of loss. But, to come to think of it, it can be an invitation – an invitation to relieve yourself from what you're good at and let someone take over. It's an invitation to let someone take charge and for you to step aside, allowing someone with energy to emerge and flourish with new ideas. A younger tiger knows how to fight all battles with sheer endurance, while an elder tiger knows which battles matter. What if you mentor rather than micromanage? Trust rather than control? Create rather than compete? In our plough-through-obsessed culture, we equate achievement with self-worth. You're not here to prove that you still can. And just because you know you 'can' doesn't mean you 'should'. You're here to evolve, elevate, and enjoy the ride. You're here to see if, in doing so, you're serving your highest self and those around you! Let go first and you might know what it feels like!

The envy of comparison is an unconscious, quietly growing emotion, like water hyacinth spreading unnoticed on a pond's surface. It surrounds the nectar of the water, creating the illusion of poison. The water itself, however, is inherently sweet, with the nectar infused deeply within it. But just cast off the tangled trap of those creeping vines, and the water will reveal its true nature—flowing freely, tirelessly, with a sparkling clarity. Water’s existence, its entire journey, is one of cooperation, of giving endlessly with a pure heart.  Even in the face of numerous obstacles and thorns along its path, water remains undeterred—a divine miracle, no doubt, but one forged through relentless effort. Who notices this journey? Who understands it? Water has no respite—it constantly battles friction and wear. "Why is this thorny life my lot?" It may ask, as feelings of resentment, anger, jealousy, hatred, sorrow, and helplessness arise. Just when it seems trapped, its spirit s...

We get fixated in viewing surroundings through a narrow lens of gained experiences. Our beliefs form based on what we make of those experiences. Each experience reinforces to core of thinking we lean for making decisions about our day to day decisions.  On a good day it is not uncommon to witness a formation of a belief! Life events, unexpected outcomes make is revisit the foundations we stand on to make ourselves visible and act. It leads to adaptation of our foundational core that we take for granted. Adaptation of foundational core is vital source of energy and paves a way new experiences that broaden our perspectives. It we feel lost often then it is a sign that foundational core needs adaptation. We must adjust the core enough to get a different view from a different angle For the core to adapt, we must force new experiences. What we know served us well. Until now. We must find a new foundational core to stand on. The one that works for us now. Adopt beliefs that serve our pre...