Skip to main content

Why do we say no when we really want to say yes?

By Bamboo In The Wind

Occasionally, we get a chance to participate in an exciting cause. We wholeheartedly want to be part of it, yet we remain noncommittal. We either say no to stay on the sidelines.

The trouble with this approach is we lost an essential part of our experience journey and regret being so naive to decline an opportunity to network, listen and learn.

Careful introspection will reveal a couple of contributing factors that drive this behavior. 

1. We are not volunteering to initiate causes of our own. When we do, we might feel the urge to make it worthwhile for others to join us. And when they do, it enthuses us.

When we know what to initiate, we realize what others seek. Ferocity to join, contribute and offer them our enthusiasm and attention.

We will notice their point of view.

2. We constantly gauge our interests, circle, and position in someone else's. This is a particularly troubling aspect of the way we think about where to involve ourselves.

We know it is a matter of trust and grappling without insecurity. When we don't deal with both comprehensively, we prefer to be hiding. It is not that we do not want to be a part of something that we have not initiated. It has more to do with whether we have a clear line of sight about who we are and how we fit with those around us.

It is a sign of a developing value system that has stalled in the absence of knowing what is causing the reluctance on our part.

To enjoy the participation, gain experience, and become confident, we must volunteer our time efforts, initiate networking events and, importantly, not hesitate to share what is in our minds.

The step before that is to notice the opposite of this has been the contributing factor.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Checks and balances!

By Bamboo In The Wind
Defining a good purpose, setting a target goal and getting people working on them is usually not enough! There are too many aspects involved in getting the results we want. For example, there is an aspect of painting the big picture, working on motivation management, productivity tracking, building experimentation labs, and erecting resilient systems that systematize the workflows. Just putting bodies to work and defining milestones rarely achieves the right results. The other aspects that help march towards the milestones in an orderly manner, they are equally important. At the very least, they make objectives widely understandable and results more attainable. The job of a thought leader is to enable progress and enable recovery. Therefore, it is never enough to have just ideas. Those with ideas also have the responsibility to assemble the work environment in such a way as to create situations containing the energy disperses. Energy dispersal from lack of clarity, loss of motivation, ...
Post a Comment
Next »

The hyacinth at the surface - nectar - just beneath!

By Bamboo In The Wind
The envy of comparison is an unconscious, quietly growing emotion, like water hyacinth spreading unnoticed on a pond's surface. It surrounds the nectar of the water, creating the illusion of poison. The water itself, however, is inherently sweet, with the nectar infused deeply within it. But just cast off the tangled trap of those creeping vines, and the water will reveal its true nature—flowing freely, tirelessly, with a sparkling clarity. Water’s existence, its entire journey, is one of cooperation, of giving endlessly with a pure heart.  Even in the face of numerous obstacles and thorns along its path, water remains undeterred—a divine miracle, no doubt, but one forged through relentless effort. Who notices this journey? Who understands it? Water has no respite—it constantly battles friction and wear. "Why is this thorny life my lot?" It may ask, as feelings of resentment, anger, jealousy, hatred, sorrow, and helplessness arise. Just when it seems trapped, its spirit s...
Post a Comment
Next »

Liked? Or Respected?

By Bamboo In The Wind
It is easy to bend backwards and accomodate others. When you do so, it is obvious to generate affection that leads to you being likeable. You tend to be always available, seek others' attention more that what your needs are for yourself, or do things to transactionally connect with others. As long as you continue doing what others prefer, you are sure to be liked! And who does not like to liked like that! People pleasing acts have huge downsides. It is different when you set boundaries, take a principled stand about when do you indulge with collaborative activity involving others and when you focus on your priorities. Principles drive energies, brings rigor and sets responsibilities. It is governed with consistency and you come across that uniform, thought and consistent in any and every situation as against preferential. Obviously, principled person is hard to pierce into. When you do, you will discover rythem of clear communication, prioritisation, importance of building long-ter...
Post a Comment
Next »